


Smashing Pumpkins

by angel_of_broadway



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, fun with pumpkins, it's a great time, krem has a giant hammer, orlesians are assholes, smashing pumpkins to be precise, the only real warning is for bull's potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_of_broadway/pseuds/angel_of_broadway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There could have been pumpkin pie. That would have been a lot less destructive, but not nearly as entertaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smashing Pumpkins

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno, I was in the mood to write, I got a prompt about pumpkins. Be gentle, I haven't done any fanfiction in a very long time.

“Come on, Rocky, toss another one!”

Normally Bull's was the first voice Aviselan heard as she made her way down the stairs from the main hall, yet today, it was Krem's that greeted her. The Chargers' antics were always something to behold (or avoid, depending on the time of day), and Creators only knew she'd be hearing a drunken retelling of it later if she didn't catch it now. Sure enough, as she got down to the stables, she heard Dalish shout “Clear!”, before a pumpkin sailed out the window of the barn.

“What in the...?”

Her unfinished question was answered as Krem's war hammer met the large pumpkin, obliterating the outside and sending the guts flying across the grounds, a few pulpy bits hitting the toes of her boots. The noises of disgust from the Orlesian merchants made her chuckle as she approached, and Bull came out from the barn with a boisterous laugh to give Krem a high-five.

“Excellent ground coverage! Swing could have been a little lower, though.”

“Tell that to Rocky; he's the one throwing high,” the shorter warrior protested, pointing up toward the dwarf.

“Hey, you try chucking these things for an hour! These aren't apples, you know!”

“Well,” Aviselan remarked, breaking up the arguing about whose aim was more off, “this looks interesting.”

“You're just in time, Boss! We had a load of pumpkins left after Satinalia, and of course we couldn't let them go to waste,” Bull explained, as if it was the most obvious thing.   
“Of course,” she repeated. “Because we certainly couldn't have used any of the extras for pumpkin pie.”

There was a loud thud as the head of Krem's hammer met the ground. “Chief! You never mentioned anything about pumpkin pie!” he cried in disdain, echoed by various similar noises from the otherChargers.

Bull cursed under his breath and looked back down at the elf. “Thanks, Boss, now they're gonna be on me all day about that.”

“Sorry, Bull,” she giggled with very little guilt. “So, you've been doing this all day?”

“Oh yeah, taking turns and everything,” the Qunari reported proudly, puffing himself up before taking Krem's place as he came over to stand by Aviselan. “In fact, you're just in time for me to go, especially since we're down to the bigger ones.”

“Please don't tell me he's going to headbutt it,” she asked with dread.

“He's going to headbutt it.”

Of course he was. “Bull, if that pumpkin gets stuck on your head, you're on your own!”

“Bah! You worry too much, Boss – Rocky's got great aim!”

From what she could see of the dwarf up in the barn, he looked to be struggling with the rather large pumpkin he'd chosen. This was going to be disastrous.

“Alright, Rocky, let it rip!”

Aviselan was now definitely glad she'd arrived when she did. Hauling the pumpkin over his head seemed to go easily enough, but the fatigue of tossing them all day had finally set it. She could see his elbows give out, and the pumpkin ended up falling much shorter than aimed. Bull cursed again and ran to catch up with it, losing his footing on a pile of hay that hadn't been cleaned up. The warrior went down, as did the pumpkin, which was cleanly sliced through by the tip of his left horn. Almost immediately, the Chargers all burst out in wild laughter, and the Inquisitor herself found it hard to hold in her giggles, especially with the complaints of noise coming from the merchants.

“She tried to warn you!” Krem barely managed, a few snorts of laughter still escaping.

“Yeah, yeah, it's real damn funny. Now help me up before I make you dumb asses run drills until midnight.”


End file.
